


Bury My Secrets

by nooky



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Protective Harry, foreign exchange student!Harry, harry is british, if you don't like that please don't read, kind of intense, like maybe toward the end?, louis is american, not sure yet - Freeform, so...yeah, there will be smut?, there's abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-18
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-27 00:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/971877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nooky/pseuds/nooky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a foreign exchange student from England. Louis is the captain of the soccer team.</p><p>Louis has secrets. Harry has secrets. It's just a matter of time before they discover each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if it's shit

"Who's that?" Danny's voice made me jump, knocking my head into my locker. I pulled away rubbing the newly forming bump and glared at him. "Whoa, why so jumpy?" He smirked. 

"Well maybe because you seem to just appear out of thin air. Try a different approach next time," I spat. My morning wasn't the greatest and let's just say neither was my mood. "Who's who?" I sighed, hoping to drop the jumpy subject.

"That kid," I followed Danny's finger to where a tall, lanky boy stood. His head was a mop of slightly unkempt brown curls. "He looks confused."

"Who cares," My attitude practically ripped through my words. I tried to be polite, but today wasn't promising. "Honestly, though. Why do you care?"

"I don't know. Maybe because all of my teachers think I'm an irresponsible jock who only cares about soccer."

"But you are," I waved him off.

"Wow, okay. Well this might get me some brownie points. You know, extra credit. The jock helps the new kid kinda thing." He babbled.

"Okay, okay then go. I don't have to go with you, big boy. You can do this on your own. Just don't be late for practice. Coach would make us run, and I have a fucked up knee." I paused waiting for him to look at me. "If I screw up my knee and can't play, I'll personally hand you the hospital bill that isn't covered by insurance and then kill you."

"Aye aye cappy," He snapped and walked away toward the mystery boy.

I silently watched as they greeted each other, the boy smiling when Danny held out his hand. He really was good looking. Now that his features were clear I could see his jaw that looked like it had been carved from gods, his too big nose that fit him perfectly, the pinkish red of his lips that was weirdly bright, and the shiniest green eyes I'd ever come across. 

No, Lou. He's not hot, you're just tired. I tried to convince my obviously confused brain.

Hoping to rid my thoughts, I grabbed my books and headed to Chemistry.

The bell rang just as I entered saving me from another tardy. Well, that was a plus.

"Louis! Over here!" I followed the voice to none other than the school slut, Cassidy Dayley. She waved me over to the empty seat right next to her. I glanced over at where I usually sit by Danny's girlfriend Angie, but a head of blonde curls had inavded the spot. I'd never seen her before, so I figured it would be rude to tell her off for taking my seat. 

Angie glanced back with an apologetic smile, so I had no other choice than to sit by Cassidy. Well, fuck.

I sat down and slightly moved my chair away from her, trying to avoid conversation. Or any contact for that matter. Unfortunately, she didn't take the hint.

"Louis, you look hot today," I felt her mumble against my ear. 

I forced a tight lipped smile and glanced at her. My eyes immediately jumped to the skirt that had ridden halfway up her thighs and the shirt that was about to burst open from her enormous fake boobs. Now I know when to appreciate a nice body, but this was just shameful.

"Like what you see?" She winked as my gaze met hers.

I shook my head, my attitude once again peeking through. "No, actually. I was just making sure none of your crabs had escaped considering your skirt isn't covering much."

Her mouth dropped and she whipped her head away from me. Well that's the end of that.

"Okay class, settle down," Mrs Galling called, making the whole class focus their attention to the front. "Some of you may have noticed there is a new face in the class today. Her name is Auralie and she is an exchange student from Lyon, France." The blonde in my seat gave a small wave. "Now, there are many new exchange students in the building, and they're all from different places. If you get a chance to meet them, please make them feel welcome."

During Mrs G's rant, my mind wandered to the mystery boy. Maybe he was one of the foreign exchange students. I wonder if he speaks English? Where could he be from? What's his name?-

"Louis Tomlinson."

"Here," I piped up hearing my name. I figured Mrs G was simply taking attendance, but from the roar of laughter my answer got, I guess I assumed wrong.

"Congrats Mr Tomlinson, we're all glad you're here. Now will you please answer the bell ringer like I asked?" Mrs G's tone wasn't mad just irritated. "And I know you're the captain of the soccer team and have a lot to think about, but please pay attention in my class."

I saluted, trying to play it off, and headed to the board. There were chuckles throughout the room.

It was going to be one hell of a day.

_***_

Just as I suspected, the rest of the day sucked. Chem was ridiculously long and boring, Calculus was taught by the worst substitute around, and Danny wasn't at lunch which meant I had to listen to my teammates gossip about the dumbest things.

Danny not being at lunch scared me a little as I walked to the practice field. What if he wasn't at practice either? We'd have to run laps, and I wasn't joking when I told him I'd kill him.

Being captian, I had the responsibility of being the first one on the field, so it surprised me a little when I saw two figures already kicking the ball around. I couldn't see who it was from a distance, but the awful ball handling of the one told me he wasn't on the team. 

Curiosity got the best of me and I jogged the rest of the way, careful not to hurt my knee.

"Danny?" I called in disbelief, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks or if it was in fact my best friend. 

He whipped around at the sound of his name and smiled when he saw me. I glanced over at the other person and my heart skipped a little when I saw mystery boy standing there with a small smile.

"Told you I wouldn't be late, dickhead." Danny winked.

"Yeah whatever. I still had to listen to Nick and Connor gossip about Sam at lunch." I flipped him off and started to lace up my cleats.

I heard a small chuckle and looked up to see mystery boy approaching.

"You know you aren't supposed to be playing on the field during practice, right?" I asked him a little harshly.

He blinked, rubbing his neck nervously. "Um sorry. I-I didn't mean to interrupt-"

"It's not like he was playing anyway. He's actually shit at soccer," Danny smirked and nudged him. 

He shrugged weakly. 

"Dude close your mouth," Danny laughed. I didn't realize my mouth was hanging open until I had to forcefully shut it. 

Holy shit, his accent was fucking hot- NO!

"What? Oh, sorry. I wasn't trying to be rude. So where are you from? I'm guessing not America with an accent like that."

He chuckled. "I'm from Cheshire. In England."

"Never heard of it."

"Well you suck at geography so no surprise there," Danny butted in.

"Oh shut up asshole, you suck at everything but geography."

The whistle blew, making everyone jump. Coach looked at me expectantly and I scrambled to stand up. 

"Tommo, why aren't we running drills? Better step it up if you want to remain captain!" Coach Lanahan's voice echoed through the field. I only then noticed that all of the other players were standing around.

"Shit," I mumbled as Danny clapped mystery boy on the back and ran to mid field. 

I followed quickly after until I felt a hand grab my shirt.

"I never caught you name," His thick acccent made my legs wobble a little.

"Oh uh. Louis. I'm Louis," I stammered, looking like a complete idiot.

"I'm Harry. Nice to meet you, Louis," His smile was insanely hot-

NOPE.

"Yeah yeah, you too," I waved and ran off to start shouting orders at the others. 

All throughout practice my mind was trained on the mystery boy- no, Harry- who was sitting in the bleachers reading a book. Every so often he would glance up and watch what was happening. I made sure to play hard when he was looking, and I don't know why.

Sure, I've always been a bit of a show off, but never this much. This Harry kid was stirring something inside of me, and I wasn't sure if I liked it.

_***_

Danny dragged Harry to the locker room after practice so he wouldn't have to wait alone. I dug through my bag as everyone got dressed, stalling as much as possible. 

After the locker room was clear, I carefully started to undress, making sure not to press too hard on the bruises that littered my body. No one could know what 

happened at home. I'd be considered weak if they found out. I'd be kicked off the team. The police would be involved. No one could know about... him.

"Oh, sorry." I flinched when I heard that deep accent. My back whipped around and hit the lockers earning a hiss as I dropped to my knees from the pain. "Oh shit, Louis? You okay?"

My mind was blank. The bruises on my abdomen were showing, a pulsing pain worked its way up through my back, and my knee was now out of place. A groan fell from my lips as I switched my position, trying to console my aching body but failing.

Cold hands found my back and lifted me up into a sitting position. I froze. He was touching me, my naked back, my bruises. My secrets.

"Louis should I get help?" His worried tone brought me back to reality.

"N-no I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. What are these from?" He sounded hesitant. I watched as his eyes roamed my chest, referring to my bruises.

"Nothing. I'm just clumsy. Why do you care? Why are you here?" I snapped. 

Harry's face dropped, sadness poking through.

"Sorry, I was- I left my book." He stood up and grabbed his novel off of the bench. 

My back was starting to calm down, so I tried to pull myself up. I got about halfway standing before the pop in my knee sounded through the room.

"Fuck!" 

"You really shouldn't walk. Here," Harry threw my arm over his shoulder and held my waist. The positioning of his hands were a little weird, one was way higher than the other. I then realized he was avoiding contact with my bruises. 

"Thanks, but I need to get dressed," I mumbled a little softer this time.

"Oh right." He guided me to the bench then walked over and grabbed my bag. 

The door flew open as Danny pranced in. 

"Harry what's taking so lo- Jesus, Lou. What happened?"

"I was just helping him get his bag. He hurt his knee." Harry gave me a sideways glance and looked toward the shirt in my hands.

I quickly caught on and threw the material on covering the purple marks that Danny was undoubtedly talking about. 

"Oh, again? Didn't you take it easy during practice?" Danny's attention was back on my knee, thankfully.

"I guess not as much as I thought."

"Can you drive?" Harry asked, his body turned to me again. I shook my head.

"I'll give you a ride. Let's go." Danny came over to pull me up from the bench. He obviously didn't remember the bruises because his grip was firm, sending pain through my side. 

I closed my eyes and tried to play it off as pain from my knee, but Harry seemed to catch on. 

"Here, I've got him. You go start the car," He nudged Danny lightly. Danny nodded and hurried outside.

Harry's touch was gentle, relieving some of the soreness. He must've remembered the placement of his hands before, because they found the exact spots.

I looked up slowly, meeting his gaze. It was more intense than I thought it would be. 

"Thanks," I mumbled feeling utterly weak.

"Don't mention it."

I don't know if it was just me, but I swore I heard a double meaning lace his words. I just hoped he wouldn't mention it.


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up was literally the hardest thing I'd done in awhile. My body was absolutely wrecked; the bruises were now a deep purple with black dotted through them. My knee looked totally fucked, the bone sticking out more than normal. Shit.

I checked the time realizing it was almost time for school, but my body wasn't moving particularly fast. My phone dinged, indicating I had a text. 

From Danny:  
Almost there, figured you'd want a ride bc of ur knee. don't want you to be driving x

I sighed. School wasn't such a good idea with all of the walking, but if I stayed home I'd probably be beaten. The doctor wasn't an option because I didn't necessarily feel like paying full out for a trip to the emergency room. The lovely medical care I had wouldn't cover anything. Weighing my options, I figured school was the better choice.

To Danny:  
alright, honk when you're here.

If he were to come inside and 'disturb the peace' I would be punished for it later. That really wasn't on my list of things to do this week.

I took a few minutes to get ready, trying to get used to the shooting pain that raced up my leg every time I put pressure on it. Showering wasn't going to happen; standing that long would be excruciating.

I collected my bags from the front room just in time to hear Danny's truck pull into the driveway.

"I'm off!" I yelled through to my 'dad', making sure he responded before I left. How he could act like a normal human being one minute and a psychopathic, abusive father the next was beyond me.

My efforts to bury the appearance of my limp was going well, I thought as I walked outside and to Danny's truck. I was clearly mistaken as I glanced at the expression that the new addition to the carpool was giving me.

"Just picked this hobo up. He was just aimlessly wandering the streets, figured he could use a ride," Danny smirked, nudging the boy.

"Hey Harry," My tone was barely audible as his intense glare shifted from my knee to my eyes. It was a little intimidating how well composed his voice was compared to his face.

"Hey."

"Apparently he's staying with the Jones family right down the street. You know, the cute little couple. They have kids right?" Danny pulled Harry's attention away from mine, thankfully.

"Uh, yeah. Two actually. Nina's 8 and Wesley's 12 I think. They're nice people," He paused, looking back over to me as I carefully climbed into the large truck. My wincing didn't go unnoticed, however, when Harry gently pulled me up. Thank god Danny had a middle seat, or this would've been complicated. 

"And we're off!" Honestly Danny's enthusiasm was incredible sometimes.

The window had my utmost attention for most of the ride as Danny and Harry talked about a little of everything. My mind was rushing to figure out how I was going to survive the day. Maybe I could see the school nurse and just not show her the bruises. Or I could just play off the pain. Skip school? Hang out in the bathroom all day? Was that acceptable?

"Hey, Louis? What's your first class? I had to transfer classes so I could fit ethnic conflict in my schedule." I was interrupted by that godly accent.

"Oh. Chemistry with Galling."

"Really? That's great! Me too," He smiled, his dimples appearing on his chisled cheeks. 

"Yeah you guys can bond," Danny chuckled. 

I faked a laugh. Now I have to go to class or he'd get suspicious.

C'mon Lou, it's one class, then you can skip the rest of the day.

Again, that accent ripped me from my thoughts. "You comin'?"

I guess I hadn't noticed we were parked in the school's parking lot.

"Yeah, sorry."

"S'fine mate." I started to walk toward the school when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Wait. I have this Chem paper that I don't understand because I wasn't there for the notes. Could you show me how to do it?" I watched as he dug through his bag.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Danny I'll see you later," I called out as Danny waved and headed to Angie's car that had just pulled in.

When I turned back to Harry, though, I was met with the same stare as before. Disregarding his intense look, I shuffled feet and smiled slightly.

"Where's this paper?"

"Don't play dumb. I don't have a paper. Lou, you need to see a doctor. Your knee looks absurd, and your limping doesn't help. Not to mention all of the br-"

"Don't you fucking dare! I don't even know you. I met you fucking yesterday and you think you have the right to talk about my personal issues. Well news-fucking-flash Harry Potter, you're not a damn wizard. You can't magically make things disappear. Just leave me alone!" I exploded. To be honest I was okay with him caring about me, it felt nice. But my defensive side broke through. 

By the look on Harry's face, I figured I'd ruined a blooming friendship. Apparently Harry had other ideas. "Louis, you can't do this alone. Please let me try to help. I'm guessing I'm the only one who knows. And I don't even know why you have them! Maybe there's something I can do. Even if you just need to talk. I promise I won't tell, but you can't do this alone." His voice cracked a little at the end when he got quieter. My eyes watered, threatening to spill over. "Look, my mum's a nurse, and if you won't let me help with your-whatever it is- then I'm demanding you get some medical attention for that knee."

"I-I don't have insurance-"

"Did you not hear the fact that my mum's a nurse? I know some things about this stuff. We can call her up and explain what happened. She might be able to help."

"You're not going to give up are you?"

"No. Your knee looks bad, Louis. Do you want to keep playing footb- soccer?"

I giggled at his slip up on American english. "Yeah, I do." He nodded. "So, I, like, can I maybe, like, sit down?" My attitude changed completely. I was too exhausted to argue.

His eyes widened with concern. "Yeah, of course! Sorry, uhh. Here, we'll go to the bench by the doors."

As we started to walk, well hobble, I turned to him. "Sorry. For snapping at you. And- uh, thanks. For this."

His smile returned, but genuine this time, and it felt nice having someone who cared about me. "Do you wanna maybe just skip today?"

"I'd love to, but where will we go?"

He pulled on his chin a few times while he thought. "Well not the Jones' and I'm guessing your parents wouldn't be too happy to see you skipping, so maybe...Ah! There's this small coffee shop down the road from here. I go there to do homework when Nina and Wesley are home. It's cozy, I think you'll like it." 

I thought over everything he said, "There's only one problem." He tilted his head for me to continue. "We don't have a car and I can't walk."

"I'll piggyback you. You can't be that heavy." His dimples threatened to poke through.

"How do I know you're not some serial killer just luring me into your trap?"

"You don't, but that's the fun part," He winked and I swore my other knee went weak, and I was sitting down.

"Yeah because being brutally murdered is top of my list of things to do this week," I snorted.

He just shook his head at me and gently pulled me to my feet, making sure I was balanced before turning his back to me.

"You're not actually planning on having me on your back this whole time, do you?"

"Don't doubt my super strength, Lou."His pouty face had to be the most adorable thing on the face of the pl-

Nope. Don't start that again.

He seemed to crouch down a little, making it easier for me to climb aboard. His broad shoulders and bicepts stood out in this position and it was quite a nice view.

"Hop on!"

I did as I was told with hesitation, not wanting to hurt the poor foreign boy with my 'big booty' as Danny once called it. After wiggling my way a little and cringing in pain when I moved the wrong way, I was finally upon this curly haired boy's back. My arms instinctively went around his neck and he locked my ankles in front of his stomach. It was very comfortable to be honest.

 

...

The coffee shop was a little farther than Harry had explained, but he shot down my requests to get off and let him rest. Apart from his slight hunch, though, he seemed perfectly content. There was very little conversation as we walked; it was mainly me asking if he wanted to let me down or him commenting on my soccer skills which I may or may not have secretly blushed at. 

When we arrived the little bell on the door rang and we were greeted by a young girl probably around 25. She was sweet and told us to sit wherever and order whatever.

I chose just a plain coffee with milk and sugar, but Harry had some elaborate latte with spices and cream and all of this other stuff. 

Once we were seated at the small table by the window, Harry turned to me with a confused look. 

"Why did you come with me?"

I was baffled. "What? You invited me. Now you're telling me you don't want me here?"

"What? No!" His eyes widened. "It's just that you don't seem to be the type to trust people." I could tell he was hinting at my secret that he was aware of but he didn't want to get yelled at again. I accepted the fact that he was genuinely curious and sighed loudly.

"To be honest, Curly, I don't know why I came. You just have this vibe."

"What did you just call me?" He was stifling a laugh.

"Oh um, sorry it just slipped out. I'm just weird I guess."

"No, I like it. I've never had a nickname except for the one my sister gave me when I was 10," Maybe my eyes were deceiving me, but I thought I saw some tears brimming before he blinked them away. 

"What was that?"

"Hazza," He laughed a little. "I don't know why it just happened I guess."

"What's her name?"

"Gemma," I jumped when he cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So how about I call my mum?"

"What time is it there?" I didn't wan't to be a burden.

"No clue, but she's always alert just in case she gets an emergency call."

I just nodded and watched as he took out his phone, and with long, nimble fingers, dialed a number. It was weird how much I noticed about this boy in two days when it took me about a week to realize Danny was hyperactive. It's like I'm prone to pay attention to him. But I barely met him 2 days ago.

"Mum? It's me." His voice rang out. I could hear mumbling from the other line, but I couldn't make out what was said. Harry paused and smiled slightly, holding up a finger to me to signal that he needed a minute. "Yeah, mum... Fine, I'm fine... I know, sorry. School takes up most of my time...No, actually my uh friend-" He faced me to confirm his assumption on our relationship status. I nodded gently. "has a bad knee. He hurt it before, but he kind of uh fell on it last night after football practice. It looks real bad, mum." The use of the word football made me chuckle simply because he tried so hard to catch on earlier, but gave up when talking to his mom. 

The phone was thrust in my direction, "She wants to speak to you."

My hesitance was probably exaggerated, but I eventually took the phone and placed it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, sweetie. I'm Anne, Harry's mum. He said you previously hurt your knee, and it's been getting worse?" Her voice was sweet and motherly almost like mine's used to be. I quickly changed my thought pattern, not wanting to dwell on the past.

"I'm- uh- I'm Louis. And yes. He was correct in that statement." 

"Ok, well what did you originally do to it, and how long ago was the injury?" She seemed to go into some sort of pre-programmed mode. It was like she asked those questions a million times, which was probably true.

"I don't know what I did to it. Never got it checked by a doctor because I don't have insurance. But it was about a month ago."

I heard a small gasp, "Oh honey! If something like this happens please feel free to call me. You should definitely be seeing a doctor. That insurance program of yours is silly. Such ignorant people." Her tongue clicked. "I need you to describe when and how much it hurts. And tell me any other odd things like popping and such."

"It does pop when I bend down, and it hurts when I put weight on it, like, a lot. And it doesn't really look like my other one. The knee cap seems a bit to the left." I examined my knee, carefully turning it as I did so. 

She paused for a few seconds before responding. "It's probably displaced. Harry's had displaced elbows before, but it's not nearly the same. Can you put me on speaker?" I nodded, not realizing she couldn't hear me, and pressed the speaker button. "Okay."

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" Even as he answered, his stare never left my face. It was a little intimidating how much one person could effect you. My body tingled when our eyes met.

Now, I'm not gay, but that wasn't a normal reaction for a straight guy.

"He has a displaced knee, honey. If he doesn't fix it soon, it could result in more damage to the meniscal tissue of his knee." He nodded in understanding at her words, while I had no idea about any of this.

"So I'm gonna hafta' pop it back in, aren't I?" Harry asked with a hint of nervousness.

"Well, yes. If you want to make him better. I mean he cou-"

"No, I'll do it." The determination in his raspy voice caught me off guard. One again his stare was directed straight at me. I didn't even bother acknowledging him 

before looking away.

"Okay, I'm gonna have to tell you the steps and go because I'm being paged. First, sit him down with his leg out as far as it can go. You have to rotate the leg as much as possible while holding either side of his knee cap. Try to press in as well when you're moving it. Now, Louis this is going to hurt a lot, but you have to withstand it if it's to heal..."

My mind blanked out after that; the steps sounding too painful to listen to. All I could think about was Harry's sudden reaction to his mom's suggestion. He seemed so incredibly driven to do this himself. I carefully watched as he sideways glanced me with a desperate look before I realized the phone was off and in his hand.

"Lou, this is going to hurt. I'm really sorry." I don't know if it was the nickname he used, or the seriously regretful look in his eyes, but my heart fluttered at his concern. 

"So I've heard." It was a force of habit that my attitude to such feelings was sarcasm. I've always been like this.

"Do you trust me? I won't do it if you don't want me to." He was now standing above me with his hands placed on my legs just above my knees, careful not to press too hard.

His question hit me like a ton of bricks; and I answered honestly. "Yeah, I trust you, Curly."

The smile I received was small and disappeared quicker than it came. 

"Okay." The one hand on my bad knee slid down a little so hid large fingers could grasp the outside of my knee cap. As it began applying pressure, a sharp pain shot through my leg making me wince. "Sorry." The pain didn't stop; in fact it intensified. My entire leg was soon engulfed in excruciating torment. I could barely feel the twisting of my leg that Harry was responsible for over the nonstop ache that echoed in my bones. Then, a popping sound filled my ears and my knee went numb. It brought a small relief to the pain, but only lasted for a few seconds. When the feeling returned, the burn came back ten fold. Harry backed away a little, letting me grope at my injured leg. The hisses that were coming out of my mouth must have indicated that I needed a break. 

It didn't occur to me that a few tears had escaped until my head bobbled sideways and I was wrapped in strong arms. I felt long fingers run down my back, comforting me. My leg was dropped at the sudden impact, and the heat in my body distracted me for a few seconds. "I'm so sorry, mate. It's done, don't cry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I registered his second sentence and thanked the lord in heaven. 

"How much longer will it hurt?" I mumbled out as I tried to hold in my sobs. It was the worst feeling I've ever experienced. 

"Probably a few more hours. Then it'll be sore for a few days depending on how your body copes with it. I'd suggest resting for a few days, babe."

Wait. Did he just? Like, was babe a normal term for British people? 

Part of me hoped it wasn't, but I didn't want to admit it. Harry had this effect on me that was surrounding me more every second we were with each other. To be honest, I was kind of scared of it. Of me.

I'm not gay. Not against gays, but not gay. 

I know what people go through when they come out. I've heard stories; seen it happen to a few students. It wasn't something I wanted to endure; but Harry was just so... enticing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me if it sucks


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't really focus on much other than the pet name that was directed towards me earlier in the day. I eventually caught on that Harry was pretty bored and probably didn't want to spend the rest of the day at this cafe. I didn't really care where we went, though, because that word replayed over and over in my head. Maybe I was being stupid and it didn't mean anything; he was probably just being comforting. 

"Lou?"

I sprang up slightly at the sound of his voice. "W-what?"

"You okay, babe?" Okay so maybe it wasn't comfort. Maybe I wasn't delusional. Maybe there was something there. I needed to find out, but subtly. Freaking Harry out to the point that he's run away was NOT something I wanted to do.

"Yeah, yeah. Uhh can I ask you something?" He nodded, sipping the last of his latte. "I've just noticed you speak a lot differently than us. So like, what are some of your slang terms?" I tried to keep the question curious not prodding.

He chuckled a little before questioning, "Like what?"

"I don't know. Like uhh... like mate! you say mate when referring to a friend, right?" He nodded again with a small smile tugging at his lips. "So like what are some other things like that?"

"Well, we call soccer football, if you haven't noticed. Um, an 'ass' is an arse," I found it funny that he picked that to talk about. "Wanker is an insult but can also mean to have one out, cunt is used a lot more often in our vocabulary, the phrase get your kit off means undress-"

"Harry, you realize most of those were sexual?" I cut him off, my laughter boiling out of me.

His face turned red and he sputtered a little before quietly apologizing. It was kind of cute to see him like that; it made him seem a little vulnerable. Usually he seemed like this super intimidating British boy with a thick accent and broad shoulders and a tall stature, but in that moment he seemed like a normal teen.

Curiosity finally got the best of me, and before I could stop myself, my mouth was spluttering the question at hand. "Harry are you gay?"

His face fell immediately and I wanted to punch myself for being so dumb and inconsiderate. I felt like the scum on the very bottom of the earth as his head shook a little. His eyes were glassy and there was a certain emotion in them that I couldn't decipher. It seemed like pain, but I wasn't positive.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so insensitive and stupid and I shouldn't have even thought about asking such a dumb question. That's your personal business. I'm really sorry, ple-"

"I need to use the restroom." He extracted himself from the situation quickly. 

How stupid could I be? I was really starting to like being around this kid, and I had to go fuck it up. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I just keep my damn mouth shut? It was like I had no filter whatsoever. Everything I thought would eventually come out in some insulting way. I hated myself for it, especially now.

Deciding that Harry probably didn't want me around anymore, I picked up a napkin and asked the polite old lady at the nearest table for a pen. My note was simple but my feelings weren't. I wanted to console him. I wanted to tell him everything was okay like he'd done to me a few hours ago. But most of all, I wanted him around.

'Curly, I'm so sorry I crossed a line. I feel like a 'wanker' right now. You most likely don't want me around you, so I'll just go home. I'm really sorry, though. -Lou'

Harry's POV

It took me a little while to regain my composure. I waited for my red eyes to return back to normal before splashing some cold water on my face and exiting the bathroom. I didn't want to cry, I really didn't I tried to hold in my emotions, but Louis triggered the memories. All of the images of my sister's beaten body came flooding in and I couldn't stop myself. I was scared that maybe something similar would happen if people knew. I couldn't bear to see anyone involved in my life getting hurt again, and if that meant hiding who I was, then so be it.

When I reentered the small sitting area, I was met with no Louis. The empty glasses were discarded, but there was still one napkin lying on the table. 

My heart sank when I read the scribbled handwriting that littered the white cloth.

Louis can't go home.

When my legs caught up to my brain, I was sprinting out of the cafe, tears streaming again. Louis couldn't be far. He was injured. But as I checked the time, I realized I took a lot longer in the bathroom than I thought. Louis could be home by now, and it was my fault.

Without the knowledge of location yet, I had to run back to the school and work backwards from this morning's ride with Danny. It was a little difficult considering I was staring at Louis most of the ride, but certain houses struck me as familiar. When Danny picked me up, he mentioned the road Louis lived on, so I racked my brain for the information. My legs never stopped moving, and I could feel the burn in my chest and the pull of muscles in my legs. I was out of breath but that wasn't going to slow me down. 

I caught a glimpse of the road sign that was approaching, and a wave of energy surged through me. Mayfield road was the one Danny mentioned. I found it.

The sharp turn almost knocked me off balance, but I quickly composed myself and took off down the road. He lived at the end; I remembered looking at the houses go by until the dead end of the street. 

The white house was now in my view, and just a few meters away from it was a figure. A limping figure.

"Louis!" My voice was frantic, but he didn't hear. It was hard to produce sound from my heaving lungs. "Louis! Louis, don't!" I managed before there was no breath left.

It was enough, though, and he turned around slowly. I was almost to him when he recognized me, his face showing confusion. 

With my last bout of energy, I lurched forward and grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling him in tight. 

"Harry what are you doing?" He pushed me back and looked directly at me.

It took me a few seconds to regain my breathing, and he waited patiently. 

"Louis don't go in there, please. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I was the one who rudely prodded your personal life."

"No, Lou. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not telling the truth. You can't go in there. Please don't let him hurt you again." I noticed his eyes widen at that. I continued before he could interject. "I know what it feels like. Personally and not personally. I'm gay, Lou, and I was scared to tell you the truth because of what it's caused in my life." The images flashed back, and I didn't even try to hold back the tears this time. "When I came out to my parents, my step-dad hated me. He told me I was scum and that I shouldn't be alive. Then the beatings started. I know those bruises, Lou. I've had them." His eyes diverted mine. "When I got used to the pain, he noticed. My sister became the target. He hurt her to hurt me, and there was nothing I could do about it. I'd come home to find her naked and bruised on my bed crying her eyes out. Each time with a different note stuck to her body. Some said things like 'you're going to hell' others were derogatory names, but the worst was ' If you weren't a faggot she wouldn't get hurt."

Flashback

"Mum, I'm home!" I didn't know if my mum worked late today, so I called out my greeting just in case. Thankfully Robin wasn't home, as his car was out of the driveway. 

I trudged up the steps to my room, wanting to procrastinate my homework as long as possible. My door was shut, and it didn't register to me that this happened every time Robin went on a rampage. It didn't strike me as weird until I opened my door to find Gemma naked, her hands and feet bound with my belts, duct tape over her mouth as muffled cries filled the room. Her body had fresh bruises as well as some yellowing ones. I didn't know why this came about. It'd been so long since this had happened. 

"Gemma!" I ran to her and quickly undid the belts, setting her free. She ripped off the tape and covered herself with her hands. This wasn't the first time I'd found her like this, but it still hurt. "I'm so sorry."

I pulled my comforter off of the bed and wrapped it around her small frame. She was probably humiliated beyond belief. 

The note was attached to the blanket this time. My eyes perused the paper before I clenched my jaw. I wouldn't get angry in front of my sister for the simple fact that I didn't want to scare her more. 

"How long have you been like this?" My eyes were watery, but nothing compared to the streams that were flowing from Gemma's.

"I-i don't know. H-he b-beat me then le-left for work." Her breaths were jagged, words gasped. 

"Gemma, I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make it stop. I've brought girls home. I've kissed them in front of him. I can't do anything to make it stop! I'm sorry, Gem." She just nodded and stood up.

"I know, Haz. I-i'm gonna go t-take a shower."

I was left with my thoughts and my thoughts only.

...

"It was my fault! All of it. My mum was so scared. She didn't even know most of it. She just knew he didn't like my sexual orientation. I tried to make it stop. I really did. But I couldn't. Gemma ran away because of me. Because there's something wrong with me. I had to tell my mum about it all. She left him and he was convicted. I'm so afraid he's gonna come back. Mum sent me here to keep me safe. None of us have heard from Gemma. It's my fault. I lied earlier because I don't want anything to happen again. And I know from experience that if you go in there, you'll get hurt." He looked back up finally, eyes brimming with tears. "Danny told me you live with your dad. I don't know why he beats you, but I know he does. I've had identical bruises, I've seem Gemma have identical bruises. Please, just stay safe. Don't give him a reason to. Skipping school is definitely a reason." My eyes were blurry from the flood of tears that had escaped. I could barely make out his expression, hoping he wasn't mad at me for confronting the situation. 

I was reassured when he wrapped his arms around my back, forcing me toward him. He fit perfectly, his head nuzzled into my neck. I wanted this to become a normal thing, but he probably wasn't gay. I mean, his face contorted every time I called him babe accidentally. That gave me a sneaky suspicion that he liked girls. But something about him felt right. Of course he was really fit, but that wasn't the entire reason for my feelings. Speaking of which- "Fit is a slang term for hot." I whispered into his ear. 

He pulled away sniffling and wiped his eyes. "Good to know. But why did you think of that?"

I felt my face heat up again and cursed under my breath. "I just, um. Honestly?" He nodded. "I was kinda thinking about how fit you were and it blurted out."

"Oh." He chuckled. "I'm flattered." 

I smiled a small, hesitant smile before he spoke again.

"You're pretty fit, too, Curly."

My eyebrows furrowed and my heart fluttered in my chest. "Wait. Are you...?"

"Not as far as I know. But there's something about you, Harry. I think I could get used to it." His head dipped down. "And thank you for this. For understanding. For saving me from him, at least for today. And for giving me someone that I can trust. I'm also sorry that you had to tell me this way, so rushed and sudden."

"No, Lou. Don't apologize. I would've told you eventually. I'm just glad I did it now so you know that I'm here and I've been there. I'm gonna help you through this, Louis. We're gonna get through it."

I pulled him in again and everything felt right. I really hoped it stayed like this. But all good things have to come to an end, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot happened in a little chappy


	4. Chapter 4

From: Danny 7:10

On my way cappy

 

From: Danny 7:15

Get your lazy ass up, loser

 

From: Danny 7:20

I'm leaving so you'd better get out here

 

From: Danny 7:23

Your cripple ass is walking

 

From: Unknown 7:54

Lou, it's harry. Danny gave me your number. Where are you?

 

From:Unknown 8:19

Lou I'm getting worried. Please answer

 

From: Unknown 8:47

I'm coming over 

I groggily read the multiple messages as my eyes came into focus. The last one caught my attention. It was 8:51, and it's only a 10 minute walk from the school to my house.

As I quickly sat up to type a reply to Harry that he didn't have to come, my head felt like it'd gotten hit by a semi. I immediately flopped back down and covered my face with my arms.

It wasn't uncommon for me to wake up in tremendous pain, but usually I remembered what had happened the night before. Today was a blank. It was like my mind was wiped of those memories completely. I was left in the dark about what exactly I'd done to make my father angry. It was a white wall, like a blank stare no matter how hard I tried to remember. 

The last significant memory of yesterday was Harry's playful banter as we walked around the park after our confessions. He was lightly pushing me on a swing in the town's central park. I remember talking about how kind his mom was, and how she seemed to care a lot about him. But then, it's absolutely nothing. I don't even remember how I got home. 

What scared me the most, though, is the crimson smear that was on my tanned arm where my nose had been pressed. I'd never had a spontaneous nosebleed. In fact, my nose withstood a lot, only ever bleeding with direct contact. So when the glistening red wouldn't stop flowing, I rushed to the bathroom in chaotic search for tissues. 

With none in the closet by the toilet and none under the sink, I settled for a wad of toilet paper and shoved it up as much as I could. 

A glance in the mirror made me realize how awful I actually looked. There was a deep violet bruise on my cheek that resembled a fist. Long finger shaped red marks littered my neck. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. And caked sweat suffocated my half clothed body. When I looked slightly further down, I noticed more obnoxious black marks that would surely be around for awhile. 

Within a minute or two, the wad of paper was soaked through with cherry colored liquid and had to be replaced. The system continued for several minutes, at least 4 clumps of soaked toilet paper were disposed of. My mind was spinning, and the loss of blood was making me light headed. 

It seemed as though it would never stop. I convinced myself that I would die here from blood loss with no one to save me.

My 'father' was at work, I remembered. Even though he cared about me about as much as a lion cared about a carcass, I had a feeling he would want me alive. How else could he torture someone? Who else would do everything that I do for him? It was a sick thought but probably not calumnious. My guts twisted at the horrid, malicious feeling that I had for him.

My knees buckled under me, and I didn't fight it. If this was how it went, then so be it. Maybe dying would bring me some relief. Maybe I was just being dramatic.

The foggyness clouded my vision again as I struggled to keep my eyes open. I could feel the trickle of blood run down my chin fast and steady, non-sop. My arms were too weak to reach up and grab for more paper. 

It was scary, what happened next, because I could feel the air on my face and the motions of my body, but I couldn't feel any pain as my head hit the cement floor of the bathroom. No throbbing, no sharp pound, nothing. 

I realized then how loud my sobs were as they bounced off of the surrounding walls. I couldn't see anything but blur now, but I could smell the iron of the blood, and the heat of it running down my bruised torso. 

Something caught me off guard though; the sound of my front door closing and footsteps rattling up the creaky wooden stairs. I tried to focus on my breathing because in the back of my mind I knew it was Harry. The text had said he was coming. 

I listened as he shot through the bathroom door and gasped at the sight of my weak, pathetic body lying almost unconscious. The warmth on my torso intensified, but I still couldn't feel anything beyond that.

I did, however, manage to open and adjust my eyes just barely, and made out the curly hair of Harry hovering over me.

"Lou! Please answer me. Nod if you can hear me," His worried voice broke muddled with the sound of my heavy sobs, but I nodded. "Okay, Lou. I'm going to try to stop the bleeding. You've lost so much blood, babe. Please try to stay conscious!"

I felt more pressure and heat, but still no pain or human contact. My breathing was sporatic, but calmer than before. I felt a sense of security with Harry around. 

My face was held back and a warm cloth was pressed to my nose. 

"Louis, can you move your arms?"

I tried to lift the one that wasn't trapped by Harry's chest. My brain racked through the instructions on how to move properly, which was something that was usually done involuntarily. I couldn't for the life of me seem to reach that specific part of my brain. It was possibly the scariest feeling in the world.

It was probably the hyperventilating that clued Harry in on my distress, because he started whispering comforting words to me.

"Don't worry babe. Shhh, we'll figure this out. I'll fix this. You'll be fine." 

The heat left my presence for a quick second, and it left me worried. I was almost certain it was Harry leaving me because he knew I was a lost cause. I couldn't be saved now. Not physically, but emotionally. Physically, I was probably fine. This was a simple nosebleed that would most likely stop soon. I was likely in shock, and my arms were just not obeying because of nerves. But my life was a mess. Harry found out that I had an abusive father, I'm weak, and now I'm a crybaby. 

What left me in utter confusion, though, was the heat returning to my body. He didn't leave.

He should have.

Blackness.

Harry's POV

"Louis? Louis! Please, Lou! Wake up! You have to stay awake, babe. Please!" I was frantic. My arms were cradling his head that had rolled to the side, indicating he 

was no longer conscious. 

The past minutes were all a blur. I remember coming into the house after no one answered the door and hearing loud sobs emanating from the upstairs bathroom. I thought maybe it was a minor bump in the road; something I could talk him through. I never expected to find him lying in a puddle of his own blood, sobbing and inconsolable.

Now he wasn't answering or crying, and his head lolled. It was the scariest moment of my life. But the small hiccups of breath told me he was still alive, to which I was ecstatic. 

I hadn't realized the tears that were escaping until I was fumbling with my phone, trying to find my mum's contact. The screen was hard to calibrate with my shaking fingers and Louis' head on my forearm. 

The ringing seemed to take forever, my mind spinning from the stress of the situation. But when I heard my mum's happy voice on the other end, I immediately started talking.

"MUM! I-i don't know what t-to do. He's losing so much blood. I can't k-keep him awake! Please, mum, I need your h-help!" My voice cracked as sobs started to shake through.

"Baby, calm down. Tell me who. What's the problem? Breathe, baby. I need you to breathe." I could barely make out her words through my whines and sniffs.

"I j-just came over to see where h-he was and he was on the floor. His nose i-is bleeding so much. It pooling, mum. He won't wake up!"

"Who, Harry?" I didn't know how she could remain so calm throughout this.

"Louis!"

"Okay. Is he breathing? Harry watch his chest." I took a few seconds to recheck his breathing and mumbled a quick yes. "Do you know why he's bleeding?"

"N-no." 

"You need to clot the blood. Cauterize the nose so it stops. Apply as much pressure as you can without hurting him. Can you do that? Put me on speaker and use both hands." I did as I was told, and used a new cloth to press down with. "Now, Harry. Can you estimate how much blood was lost?"

I didn't want to, but I looked down at the huge red puddle that gathered under his face and torso. It was then that I also realized the dark bruises starting to form on his body. My heart was racing for him. This was my fault. His father didn't look too happy when I dropped him off yesterday. He undoubtedly took his anger out on Louis. I was so stupid. I caused this.

Remembering my original task, I felt a churning in my stomach when I looked again, calculating an estimate. 

"Probably half a liter. It's a lot, mum." I was finally getting control of my voice.

"Baby, there's nothing I can do for him. You have to call an ambulance. It's the only way he can get proper help."

I knew she was right, but there was something telling me this might cause more harm than good.

But Louis was unconscious, and I couldn't just sit and watch him get worse.

So, I hung up on my mum and called 911. 

~

The next few minutes seemed to blend into one unimaginably long span of time. The colors of the people around me were nothing but blobs. The loud sirens of the ambulance I was riding in were muddled. But I remember the look on the EMT's face when Louis started shaking. It was absolute chaos. I couldn't move from the sitting position I was in. My legs were frozen, but every fiber of my being wanted to jump up and help.

I barely remember what the EMT had said was happening. 

Seizure. That one word stuck to a chord of my brain and would not budge. No matter how many times I tried to shake the almost vomit-inducing image of Louis violently shaking from my head, I couldn't.

His arms trembled like he was being shocked. His chest jolted upward in rapid heaves, mouth falling open and filling with choking noises. 

Everyone was shouting things back and forth, turning him onto his side and trying to stop the attack.

It took me awhile to realize I was shaking too, but on my own accord. A woman handed me some tissues and a blanket, rubbing my shoulder and drawing my attention away from the scarring scene. I was thankful for that. I don't think I could have witnessed any more of the painful situation that was running its course. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew what could happen from something like this, but I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to make it a reality. When something attaches to your brain, though, you can't stop it. It just keeps getting louder and louder until it engulfs your attention. Until it's all you can think about.

It was scary, really, how achingly sad this was. I barely knew Louis, yet here I was, fearing for his life. I didn't love Louis, obviously. We met a few days prior for god's sake. But I cared. I don't even know why I cared so much. It's not like we were close, but he kind of just took a place in my life. I felt protective of him. Maybe it was because of how relate-able our lives were. Maybe it was because of his small stature. I don't know. But being in this situation really fucked me up.

I was afraid of what was happening, but I was also mad. Mostly at myself.

I was the one at fault for this. If I hadn't dropped his father off and made him angry, this wouldn't have happened. 

"Honey, breathe. We are at the hospital now. Your friend is being taken care of. Can you hear me?" The woman from before was rubbing over the back of my hand, trying to get my attention. 

I realized my breathing wasn't the best, but there was nothing I could do about that. As hard as I tried, I wasn't able to inhale properly. In fact, my chest was hurting from the attempts.

The lady was saying something else, but I couldn't focus on her, I was too busy hyperventilating. 

Apparently, though, she had called a few more people out to the ambulance because I was lifted up and supported by a large man. My legs weren't working; I couldn't put any pressure on them. 

Something was strapped to my face and it was blowing puffs of air into my mouth. At first, I hesitated against the puffs, coughing and gagging, until my body got used to it. 

Eventually I felt my body go prone, and an unfamiliar, scratchy material was surrounding me. Everything around me was white and intimidating. I felt myself relax a little though when my breathing started to return to normal.

It took awhile, but a nurse came in to take my mask off and ask me a few questions about my breathing. My mind was muddled, though, and I kept subconsciously asking where Louis was.

"Your friend is in the operating room. He has major internal bleeding and head trauma. You, however, weren't breathing so well. I need you to try to answer these questions so we can get you out of this stuffy room." 

I nodded weakly.

"What's your name?"

"Harry Styles."

"Date of birth?"

"February first of ninety four."

"Okay, good. How do you feel?" She looked up with a concerned expression. 

"Better sort of. I just want to see Louis."

The small smile wasn't what I wanted from her. I wanted her to take me to see Louis. "I know. He's in good hands though."

I prayed to god that was true.

~ 

After a few hasty texts to Danny, I sat in the waiting room and waited. And waited. Then Danny showed up. He didn't ask me anything, probably knowing I was too stressed to reply. But we waited.

Hours passed by, and I saw families enter and leave. Little girls with stomach aches, crying in the arms of their parents. Boys who must have rough housed too much and gotten injured. Older men with terrible coughs, comforted by their loving wives. Old women with oxygen tanks that had no one with them. And then there was us. Two teenage boys with worried expressions that never left. We just sat there, a few tears escaped from the both of us. A few sympathetic looks were sent our way.

It was hours before we heard anything. Fearing the unknown was the worst feeling, in my opinion.

That is, until the doctor came out with blood on his coat, mumbling seven words that made my heart fall into my stomach and Danny's legs give out.

"There's been a problem, but we're trying."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kind of hate this chapter

I was supposed to be the broken one. I was the one who deserved all of this pain and abuse. Me. I didn't wish it upon anyone, especially not someone like Louis.

That was all I could think about as Danny and I sat in the cramped room. You know, that room they lead people to when they're about to give them horrible news? Yeah, that one.

After the doctor told us that Louis had internal hemorrhaging that wasn't stopping, we were told to wait in this tiny, uninviting hell hole. Nurses were in every once in awhile to see if we needed anything. We both needed Louis.

I didn't understand why the world was such a cruel place. People hurting people, people not caring about anything but themselves, people abusing their rights. It just doesn't make sense why all of these things are human nature. And that they happen to the most wonderful people. 

"Harry," a particularly deep voice registered in my brain. My head snapped up to find the doctor from before standing fairly calm. "You're Harry, right?"

It took a few more seconds than normal to properly answer. My mind was racing. There were so many possibilities of what could be happening. "Uh, yeah. How- how's Louis?" My legs took a little bit of prodding, but I eventually stood up.

"Well, fortunately we got the bleeding to stop." Danny sighed loudly in relief. The doctor turned to address him as well. By the looks of it, he was sleeping when the doctor came in. "But we aren't out of the ball park yet. There's still a lot wrong with him. He had head trauma, and we're hoping it doesn't lead to anything else. What they're working on now is getting his breathing back to normal. One of his lungs collapsed during surgery. He's on a stabilizer now. We will check to see if anything else is surgically repairable then close him up."

My stomach twisted. That phrase made me want to vomit. 'Close him up.' I knew it was the truth, but it made him sound like some object. It also made me visualize very graphic things. 

"How much longer until we can see him?" It came out mumbled but apparently audible.

"I'm not sure you can. Only family is permitted to see the patients in the ICU. Until we get him stable that is." I was about to protest before he started speaking again. "Speaking of which, I've called his father who is the only guardian we have on file. Do you know if that's correct?"

My heart dropped into my stomach instantaneously. They called his father. The one who put him in here. The one who couldn't give less of a shit about him.

"Yeah. His mom died a few years ago." Danny spoke up. He still had no idea what was really happening in Louis' house. 

"He isn't coming, is he?" I tried to swallow the anger that wasn't supposed to be boiling up. 

"Yeah. He's on his way? But wh-"

"Can I maybe speak to you alone? Just for a minute?" The question was directed to the doctor, but I glanced to Danny, who looked shocked. Confused even.

"Harry what's going on? Why can't you just say it?"

"I-it's kinda private. It's not mine to share with you-"

"But you can share it with him? I've been Louis' friend for a hell of a lot longer than you! You think you can just show up and take authority? That's not fucking fair!"

"Sir, please lower your voice," the gruff voice came a bit more forceful than before.

"Danny look, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was like intruding or anything, but this is important. And I'm sure Louis'd want to tell you himself." I tried to reason. 

Either he started to understand or he was too drained to fight because he sat back down with nothing but a slight nod in my direction.

The doctor looked expectantly at me, and I sighed, walking over to the opposite corner of the room. 

In a hushed whisper, I forced the words out, "His father did this."

A confused expression crossed over his face before his eyes widened. "And you're positive of this? You've seen it?"

"Well-no... but I uh, Louis told me, sort of."

"Look." A pause and a sigh. "There's not much we can do if you aren't a direct witness. There will be someone with him in the room at all times, but we can't ban his father from the room without direct proof that this was his doing."

It made sense, it really did. But that didn't stop my blood from boiling in anger. Pure red, hot, streams blurring my vision as my eyes clouded over. I know I was being childish, but I stormed away, out of the room, outside completely. Air. I needed air. 

Fresh clean air filled me as I inhaled, cooling some of the heat enveloping my mind. This really is the shittiest kind of situation. But it's one I'm familiar with.

~

I only remember the scowl and harsh breaths that puffed from my lips as I watched the man responsible for this prance into the hospital, a look of plastic sorrow woven into his features. He didn't seem to notice me, though. Just regarded Danny with a nod of his head. I waned to punch the living fuck out of him for even pretending to care. It was hideous, the amount of energy that must've been used to keep that disgusting fake despair written upon his gruesome face.

In reality, he looked believable, if you didn't know any better. But I did. And I was about to lose my shit.

The doctor led him back, glancing to me with a small nod of understanding. Reassuring me that he wasn't going to be left alone with Louis.

~

It was another hour or so before he reemerged. And left. Just like that. Mumbling something low in his throat. 

And the doctor proceeded to come to Danny and I with the words I thought would never come.

"He's awake."

A huge sigh of relief escaped my body and I heard the same from my left. Danny.

"One visitor at a time. I can take whoever back now, if you'd like."

Danny immediately jumped up and thanked the doctor. Looking back to me, as if asking to go first. I obviously nodded. It wasn't my place to see him before his best friend. I barely know him for heaven's sake.

~

Another 20 minutes passed and Danny came out. Everything was slow motion. I was exhausted. Drained. I needed to sleep but I couldn't leave without seeing Louis. It was like some sort of obligation.

"He's asleep. And visiting hours are almost over," The doctor said. I glanced to Danny whose eyes were red and puffy. He was shaking a little bit. 

That scared the hell out of me.

"You should go home and get some sleep. The Jones' will be worried. I'll drive you back," He looked apologetic. For what, though?

"Can I just stay? Sleep out here? Until he wakes up?" My voice muddled with sleep.

"That's not usually allowed, son." The doctor interjected politely. I stared up with pleading eyes, hoping he would change his mind. There was a pregnant silence before he sighed tiredly. "Just until he wakes up."

A tight smile formed on my lips involuntarily. "Thanks."

Danny nodded and said goodbye, walking halfway out of the door before turning back and apologizing for snapping at me.

~

A few texts from my mum came during the night. I barely closed my eyes before my phone vibrated.

'How's he doing?'

The blur of white from my screen made be blink the sleep away. 

'Okay, I think.' Was the only reply I could manage.

'Tell me when you know for sure.'

She was always so caring and selfless. It was incredible.

'I will."

I then realized I'd missed a call from the Jones' home phone. I was about to call back when I realized it was far past the kids' bedtime. Far past anyone's bedtime, really. Almost three in the morning. So, I sent a text to Mrs. Jones giving a quick summary. A friend was in the hospital. I'd be back in the morning. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I received a reply almost immediately. I was a little surprised she was still up.

'Okay, that's fine. Just worried you were hurt. Keep me updated.'

She was so much like my mum, it made me miss her even more.

~

A light tap on my shoulder stirred me awake. A small framed nurse was standing over me with a generous smile. I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the wall clock. It read 10:20. Had I really been asleep for that long?

With a long stretch and a quiet yawn, I peered again at the nurse. Her smile never flickered once. 

"You're here for Louis Tomlinson, correct?" Her impish, yet endearing voice pitched through the room.

I nodded, not attempting to gather my voice before I had water.

"He's awake now. A little sleepy still, but he's conscious. And he's asking for you. That is, if you are Harry." It took a few more seconds to comprehend, but when I fully understood her words, my heart kind of did a weird loopy thing. It was absurd really, the effect Louis had on me. Unmistakable and absolute, but absurd all the same. 

I quickly (or as quickly as one can in the first minutes of their conscious day) stood and followed the kind lady with the kind voice.

The corridor of the emergency wing seemed to extend forever, and Louis was unfortunately at the end of it. Each languid step I took was torturous, excruciating. And it became an even bigger concern when we passed under a sign that read "ICU." Somewhere deep inside I knew that Louis was in bad condition, but the sign made the idea concrete. Scary.

"Here we are," The kind lady said after what felt like hours of undisturbed pacing down an essentially perturbing hallway. "He's hooked up to a lot of tubes to monitor all of his vitals like heartbeat and blood pressure and breathing etcetera. It might be a bit disturbing, but don't be alarmed."

I almost wanted to laugh aat this woman and tell her my mum's a nurse and that I've seen it all, but her intentions were good, so I merely listened and nodded before turning to the closed door as she pulled the handle and propped it open.

I knew what to expect, except it was different. I've seen people on monitors, in comas, and dead essentially, but never someone I knew. It's a lot harder to digest when the person hooked up to so many tubes is a person that has been clouding your thoughts for as long as you've known them.

I swallowed harshly at the sight before me. Louis sat half upright, IVs dripping multiple substances, including blood, into his overly blue, bared veins. His face was pale, almost white in contrast to his normal tanned complexion. Eyes, half lidded and barely recognizable shifted from the window to the right to me. He weakly smiled then, lips bluish and chapped. The oxygen tube in his nose, barely in as it is, slid down a little more. There was a white gauze cloth wrapped around his forehead, hiding his sun-kissed hair. Everything looked a little bleaker, and it was a poignant sight. 

"Hey," His quiet voice was barely there, raspy and broken. 

The door shut then, and I turned quickly to make sure no one had stayed in the room. 

As soon as it was clear, a huge breath of relief I didn't know I was holding in billowed out of my lungs.

"Louis. Oh my god, you're alive," it was almost comical, but I meant it.

His face contorted, "They didn't tell you?"

"No, they did. It's just really good to see you conscious. I-I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do I had to call. I thought you were going to die, Lou. I really did. My mum said there was nothing I could do and I tried to stop the blood, I did. There was so much, though and you weren't waking up I'm so sorry but I had to call for help I'll pay for the bill and all because you said you don't have insurance. I panicked, Louis. I crumbled under pressure. Please don't hate me." I probbably took about 2 breaths through my whole rant. 

My bowed head shot up at the sound of Louis' wrecked sob. Something inside of me, most likely my heart, pounded on my ribcage when I saw the tears escaping his eyes.

"Louis? Are you okay?" I moved as close as possible and pulled up the chair. 

"Y-you were there?" He practically slurred, words mixing with the heaves of his chest.

"What do you mean? I was where?" 

"It was you? You called."

My heart sank. He was mad. "Y-yes. I'm so sorry, Lou. It wasn't my place and-"

"Don't apologize." He inhaled so heavily that I thought something was wrong with his lungs. "You saved my life, Harry. I don't remember much of it, but I remember thinking about dying." I watched as he tried to regain some composure. "If you didn't come I'd be dead. So, no. Don't apologize."

I was at a loss for words. There were too many things going on in my head. Too many emotions.

We sat in silence for a good five minutes, neither knowing what to say, until he spoke up again. Voice cracked.

"I'm sorry you were dragged into this. You shouldn't have to deal with it."

My eyes widened. "No! Absolutely not, Louis. I was not dragged into this. I want to help. I need to." I lightly grabbed his hand, careful not to disturb the wires. "I know what it's like to be in it alone. I'm not letting that happen to anyone. I won't sit by and watch it. And you shouldn't either."

I think he picked up on what I was cluing, because his eyes widened the tiniest bit. "Huh?"

"You can't let him do this anymore, Lou. It's illegal and unjust and unfair in every way imaginable." I paused, not knowing how to form my next sentence. "I, uh, I told the doctor. About...yeah when your father came to visit. I didn't want him near you, but there was nothing they could do because I didn't witness it and you weren't awake." My words choked a bit at the end.

"Harry, you shouldn't meddle in things you can't handle," there was a sharper tone to his voice, indicating a change of attitude.

"I can't just leave it all on you! You won't do anything about it! I'm just trying to prevent what happened to me-"

"It's already happened! There's nothing you can do!" The heart rate monitor picked up then, so I stayed quiet, as did he, and let it go back to normal. "Harry, he's the only family I have. He's the only one who can take care of me-"

"You call this," I gestured around the room, "taking care of you? He put you in the fucking intensive care unit, Louis! This is far from healthy!"

I could not believe what he was saying.

"It's either this or living on the streets. No home, no money, nothing. I wouldn't even be able to finish school properly." The scariest part of that statement was how calm and collected he was, like this was a normal thing to be discussed.

"There has to be something else, Louis."

I wanted to cry.

"There isn't, Harry. I've accepted it. I just have to deal with it until I can graduate and get a job and live on my own."

I've accepted it.

No one should have to accept this.

"I won't give up. Louis. I won't."

And so I started to cry. Wet and heavy drops of salty eye liquid slowly trickling out.

"Please." I heard him whisper. "Please."

My heart plummeted even more, if that's possible. "I barely know you, Louis Tomlinson. Tell me why I care so much?"

Another extended silence filled the room before a quiet, raspy "Because you're good," sounded. Voice tired. "Too good."

And just as quick as the sentence came, it went, and so did he. Light, steady breaths taking over. He looked a bit more relaxed in sleep, but not much. 

I calmed my tears, wiped my eyes, and sat for a few more minutes with Louis' hand still in my own. My thoughts tumbled away from my mind, leaving me empty.

I really don't know what it is about this boy, but these feelings aren't letting up. 

With a quick kiss to his forehead, I stood up, whispered a promise that I would keep him safe, and exited the sanitary, white hell.

I was so totally fucked for a boy I met a few days prior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with this right now, but things will come of it. I promise.


End file.
